function fcnQoD() {
var random = Math.floor(Math.random()*56);
var vQuotes = new Array(55);
vQuotes[0] = ""I don`t know what we could have done without our band" soldier from 24th Massachusetts Regiment, April 1862";
vQuotes[1] = ""The South must not only fight her own battles, but must sing her own songs." The J. Black Company, Mobile, Alabama, 1861";
vQuotes[2] = ""My Colonel is an ignoramus fit for nothing higher than the cultivation of corn. " - Rebel soldier";
vQuotes[3] = ""Bang, bang, bang, a rattle, de bang, bang, a boom, de bang...whirr-siz-siz-siz - a ripping, roaring, boom, bang!" - Sam Watkins, Confederate Private describing a "fire fight"";
vQuotes[4] = ""Our Congress are a set of blockheads." - Isaac Alexander, Confederate soldier, February 21, 1864";
vQuotes[5] = ""It takes one half of the men to keep the other half from running away." James Bracy, Confederate soldier. May 11, 1863";
vQuotes[6] = ""Uncal Sam has a much care for his Nephews as he has for one of his mules or horses." Union soldier";
vQuotes[7] = "An English Officer visiting Texas wrote of hearing a Confederate band "braying discordantly; while another Britisher said that bands were "wretched" and their "dismal noises and intolerable nuisance."";
vQuotes[8] = ""Farwell Gould rode into battle at Pea Ridge with a jug of whiskey in his hand because there wasn`t a safe place to sit it down" Vance Randolph";
vQuotes[9] = ""I would as soon kiss a dried codfish as one of them." A Union soldier referring to Southern women";
vQuotes[10] = ""We are between a sh-t and a sweat out here." Federal Soldier in a letter to his wife";
vQuotes[11] = "Trying to keep hungry soldiers from foraging was as easy as waltzing with a grizzly bear. One Federal soldier was stopped on his way into camp with a fine goose hung over his shoulder. Questioned where he got it, he said, "I was coming through the village whistling `Yankee Doodle` and this confounded Rebel of a goose came out and hissed me; so I shot it"";
vQuotes[12] = "A little Southern boy was walking by a group of Federal soldiers who were occupying Canton, Mississippi in 1864. After passing he turned and shouted, "Hurrah for Jeff Davis!" One of the soldiers quickly respond with, "Hurray for the devil." "That`s right," said the boy. "You hurrah for your Captain, and I`ll hurrah for mine"";
vQuotes[13] = "During the battle of Kinston in 1864, a soldier was asked by a chaplain if he was support by Divine Providence. "No, we`re supported by the 9th New Jersey."";
vQuotes[14] = ""I want to be in one battle, just for the curiosity of the thing" George M. Decherd, Confederate soldier, January 6, 1862";
vQuotes[15] = ""Git thar fustest with the mostest." General Nathan Bedford Forrest, CSA";
vQuotes[16] = ""I reckon I killed as many of them as they did of me." A wounded Confederate soldier";
vQuotes[17] = "While having supper with his staff at a hotel in Tennessee, General Roecrans has the unfortunate experience of tasting the butter, which was old and rancid. He immediately shot out of his seat, stood at full attention, and gave the butter a snappy salute. "Gentlemen," he explained, "that butter outranks me!"";
vQuotes[18] = "General Picket ordered "Dixie" played at a charge at Gettysburg.";
vQuotes[19] = ""If I had known it was going to be so popular, I would have written it better." Daniel D. Emmett";
vQuotes[20] = "After Lee`s surrender, President Lincoln ordered the band to play "Dixie." "I has always thought `Dixie` one of the best tunes I have ever heard. Our adversaries over the way attempted to appropriate it, but I insisted yesterday that we fairly captured it. I presumed the opinion to the Attorney General, and he gave it as his legal opinion that is is our lawful prize. I now request the band to favor me with its performance." President Abraham Lincoln";
vQuotes[21] = ""When a Southerner comes home with calloused hands he`s either been plowing or applauding `Dixie.`" Old saying.";
vQuotes[22] = ""If I had known to what use they were going to put my song, I will be damned if I`d have written it!" Dan Emmett, after hearing the Confederates has adopted "Dixie" as their rallying cry.";
vQuotes[23] = ""The way we have been treated is enough to make a preacher swear almost." Union Private O. W. Norton";
vQuotes[24] = ""What`s the use of killing Yankees? You kill one and six appear in his place." Confederate soldier";
vQuotes[25] = "A recruiting officer stopped at a house and asked an old lady the number of males living there. After telling him the names of her husband and sons, the officer persisted and asked if there were any other males. Only Billy Bray," she answered. "And where might he be?" asked the officer. He might be in the barn," answered the old lady. Not finding him, the officer registered him for the draft. When his draftee failed to report for duty, the officer investigated, only to discover Bill Gray was jackass!";
vQuotes[26] = ""Breakfast! I`ve lived for two days now on an old boot, and darn poor boot at that!" Conferate soldier";
vQuotes[27] = ""The only meat we had for weeks was in the biscuits."";
vQuotes[28] = "Authentic "Cracker Lore" - One soldier carved a violin bridge out of a cracker.";
vQuotes[29] = "Authentic "Cracker Lore" - Union crackers were known as "Lincoln Pies,""Weevil Fodder," or "McClellan Pies."";
vQuotes[30] = "Authentic "Cracker Lore" - Soldiers on both sides called cracker "teeth dullers," "sheet-iron crackers," "floor tiles," and "worm castles."";
vQuotes[31] = "Authentic "Cracker Lore" - One group of artillerists used crackers as paving stones in front of their tent.";
vQuotes[32] = "Authentic "Cracker Lore" - Solders often softened up crackers with the butt of their rifles.";
vQuotes[33] = "Authentic "Cracker Lore" - "We live on crackers so hard that if we has loaded our guns with them we could have killed Seceshs in a hurry."";
vQuotes[34] = "Recipe for Hell-Fire Stew: Boil biscuits in water until soft. Add bacon grease to taste (if available).";
vQuotes[35] = "I`m so hungry I "could eat a rider off his horse ... and snap a the stirrups." Federal soldier at Chattanooga";
vQuotes[36] = "A small boy was leading a mule past an army camp. To have a little fun, one of the soldiers called out, "Why are you holding your brother so tight, sonny?" "So he won`t join the army," replied the boy";
vQuotes[37] = ""Our `grub` is enough to make a mule desert and a hog wish he had never been born." An Illinois Corporal, October 26, 1862";
vQuotes[38] = ""I have seen quite enough of a soldiers Life to satisfy me that it is not what it is cracked up to be."";
vQuotes[39] = ""The Major is a hell of a man...he don`t no enough to learn a dog to bark." Union soldier.";
vQuotes[40] = ""In this army one hole in the seat of the breeches indicates a Captain, two holes a Lieutenant, and the seat of the pant all out indicates the individual is a Private." Conferate soldier, Atlanta, June 1864";
vQuotes[41] = ""The first thing in the morning is drill, then drill, then drill again. Then drill, drill, a little more drill. Then drill, and lastly drill. Between drill, we drill and sometimes stop to eat a little and have roll-call." Oliver Norton, 83rd Pennsylvania Infantry";
vQuotes[42] = ""To fill up the Army is like undertaking to shovel fleas." Abraham Lincoln";
vQuotes[43] = ""I know if there is another war this chicken wont be thar when they enlist." Joe Shields, Confederate private, July 1, 1861";
vQuotes[44] = ""We have a lively time here. Every night fiddlers are plentiful." Conferate soldier from Kentucky.";
vQuotes[45] = ""I wish to God one-half of our officers were knocked in the head by slinging them against a part of those still left." Rebel Soldier";
vQuotes[46] = ""Our soldiers were pitching around like a blind dog in a meat house."";
vQuotes[47] = ""Soldering does well for a few months, but it don`t ware like farming." Union volunteer";
vQuotes[48] = "In 1863 alone, Root & Cady published 258,000 pieces of sheet music. If stretched out sheet by sheet, the publisher claimed it would bridge the entire state of Illinois from Chicago to the Mississippi River.";
vQuotes[49] = ""I am well at the present with the exception I have the Dyerear and I hope these few lines will find you the same." Letter from Federal soldier to his wife";
vQuotes[50] = ""This countrie is so por it woulden hardle sprout pees." A Georgia soldier writing from Wilmington, N.C.";
vQuotes[51] = ""The officers are not fit to tote guts to a bear." Conferate soldier";
vQuotes[52] = ""A crow flying over the valley would have to carry his own provisions." David Nichol, Union soldier, May 21, 1864";
vQuotes[53] = ""We have to drink water thick with mud & wiggle tails." Conferate soldier";
vQuotes[54] = "An old woman who was standing in the doorway of her log cabin was asked by an Indiana volunteers, "Well, old lady, are you a Secessionist?" "No," she answered. "Are you a Unionist?" "No, I`m not." "Well, what are you, then?" "A Baptist, and always have been."";
vQuotes[55] = ""The common private soldier earns enough in one month to buy a pretty fair watermelon." T.P. Forrester, Conferate soldier from Georgia, September 11, 1864";
//document.write("There are " + (vQuotes.length + 1) + " quotes....");
//document.write("
Random #: " + random);
return(vQuotes[random]);
}